Couples exist on a spectrum between "I" and "We", but the key is to strive for a healthy balance that strengthens your relationship.
Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome.
Take time with your partner to discuss the following:
- What are the benefits to having interests and commitments independent of your partner?
- Does it help bring you closer to your partner?
- How can the balance of togetherness and separateness improve in your relationship?
- What do you need to feel close to your partner and still feel independent at the same time?
- Consider judgement – Do you ever feel that your family or friends judge you and your partner for spending too much time together or apart?
- What does it feel like when you recognise this judgement?
- Does this impact your decision to spend more or less time with your partner?
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples... that's a great place start!
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to find a facilitator near you, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us on (02) 9520 4049.