Personality is simply understood as the set of characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. It is one of those things in life that can't change and it tends to stay stable over time. Some might argue you can change aspects of your personality, or your partner’s if you try hard enough. However, this is largely a misconception. What you can do is begin to understand your own personality as well as your partner’s.
There are many personality theories and concepts that can help you understand your own personality and your partners. Couple Checkup uses SCOPE to help individuals see how high or low they score on each of the five factors of personality (Social, Change, Organised, Pleasing and Emotionally calm).
- For each of you, which behaviours positively contribute to your relationship?
- What personality differences can you use to strengthen your relationship?
- While both “opposites attract” and “birds of a feather flock together” are true, which is the case for your relationship?
- Do the roles you and your partner fulfil in your relationship match your personality strengths? (e.g. If one person scored high on organisation, do they manage the bills?)
Your personality frames how you approach life. For some couples, having very different personalities can bring challenges. You might want to consider seeking professional help if a particular factor is so extreme it is interfering with daily life.
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples... that's a great place start!
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to find a facilitator near you, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us on (02) 9520 4049.