Recognising the role forgiveness plays in your relationship and its importance in daily life, can bring about significant changes in your relationship. If forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts, then it can be starting point for healing and reconciliation. It can facilitate a process that promotes healing and relief when working through deep hurts.
It is important to remember however, that forgiveness is not about forgetting, condoning, or perpetuating injustice. It is not granted on demand and it doesn’t automatically guarantee reconciliation and unfortunately, there may be times in your relationship when you are unable to forgive. It is at these times that communication of these deep routed issues need to be discussed.
Putting effort into the process of forgiveness can bring about positive change.
Discuss the following with your partner:
- How are unforgiven issues currently impacting the health of your relationship?
- Is there a cluster of unacknowledged everyday lapses in thoughtfulness causing resentment?
- Is there a significant hurt that needs attention?
- When you forgive or are forgiven by your partner, do you experience a sense of relief? If so, describe to your partner what this sense of relief feels like.
- Discuss what the most difficult part of forgiveness is for you.
- What are the easiest things to forgive and what are the hardest?
- How is forgiving your partner different or similar to forgiving another member of your family?
If forgiveness seems unachievable, it’s okay to seek professional help.
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples... that's a great place start!
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to find a facilitator near you, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us on (02) 9520 4049.