Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome.
Maybe you and your partner are engaged or newly married and you are happy, in love, and feel more connected than ever – you’re more on the “we” end of the spectrum. Perhaps you recently welcomed your third child to the family and you have gone back to work full- time. Your household is hectic and you and your partner rarely get to enjoy quality time together – you’re more on the “I” end of the spectrum.
Regardless of where you are, address your current balance and take initiative in the direction you and your partner would like to move. Take time with your partner to discuss the following:
- How much time, on average, do you spend with your partner during the week?
- Does this feel like too much, not enough, or just right?
- How does the quality of your time together impact the good it brings to your relationship?
- What does it feel like when you have a stretch of time when you barely see your partner?
- In what ways do you stay connected if you can’t spend time with your partner?
- Do you ever look forward to time apart from your partner?
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples... that's a great place start!
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to find a facilitator near you, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us on (02) 9520 4049.