There are two skills that will help shape a positive environment for communication in your relationship: assertiveness and active listening.
To be assertive, it’s important to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings by using “I” statements instead of starting with “you.” In making constructive requests, be positive and respectful in communication. Use polite phrases such as “please” and “thank you”. Try to avoid blame, criticism, and judgement. Instead, focus on the good!
Assertiveness is expressing your feelings and asking for what you want in the relationship.
Examples of Assertive Statements:
“I’m feeling out of balance. While I love spending time with you, I also want to spend time with my friends. I would like us to find some time to talk about this.”
“I want to take a ski vacation next winter, but I know you like to go to the beach. I’m feeling confused about what choice we should make.”
Now you've had your say, what does it then mean to be on the other side? Learn about active listening next week.
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples... that's a great place start! Tune in for more tips next week.
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to find a facilitator near you, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us on (02) 9520 4049.