Balancing “I” and “We” requires communication

Balancing “I” and “We” requires communication

We all know that one couple who does everything together – he tags along to book club, she comes with to watch the game. They share every leisure activity and rarely attend activities independently.

Conversely, you know that other couple that seems to live completely separate lives—different friends, hobbies, and ways of spending their free time. We can recognise this variety and acknowledge there is no perfect way to balance being together and apart from your partner.

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Different personalities can bring significant challenges

Having very different personalities can bring significant challenges

Personality is simply understood as the set of characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. It is one of those things in life that can't change and it tends to stay stable over time. Some might argue you can change aspects of your personality, or your partner’s if you try hard enough. However, this is largely a misconception. What you can do is begin to understand your own personality as well as your partner’s.

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When conflict arises, communicate assertively and ask for a "time out"

When conflict arises, avoid using blameful language towards your partner as that invites negativity into the situation. Try to communicate assertively and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions, and try to focus solely on the issue at hand.

If the argument starts to get out of hand, ask for a "time out." Taking 5 to 20 minutes away from your partner will calm you enough to allow you to listen better and discuss the subject objectively rather than emotionally. Soothe yourself by taking deep breaths, a short walk, or even a short drive.

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