Showing commitment in a variety of ways can help confirm your commitment

Commitment is the foundational agreement of a relationship stating, “no matter what comes our way I will always be here for you."

We’ve all heard the cliché “actions speak louder than words,” and in the case of commitment, it may be true. The discrepancy between what we say and what we do comes when we fail to see how our partner chooses to display their commitment. Showing commitment in a variety of ways can help confirm your commitment, whether it is formally spoken or not.

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the way in which we show commitment to our partner may not be clear

How do we show we are committed to our partner?

Commitment can be clear when we say statements like, “’till death do us part,” but the way in which we show commitment to our partner is much less clear.

If you took an assessment or are working through aspects of your relationship, or just reading this blog, not only are you committed to strengthening your relationship, but you are committed to your partner. Maybe you formally committed to each other by accepting a proposal six months ago or by exchanging vows at your wedding many years ago. Maybe it’s something less formal, but just as meaningful. You might even have an unspoken commitment to your partner.

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It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy in your relationship

It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy while maintaining independence and identity

It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy in your relationship, but don’t forget to maintain your own sense of independence and identity, communicate with your partner to find an appropriate balance for your relationship.

Start small. If you and your partner decide you are too connected – schedule time to do activities independently, even if just for an hour.

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Have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome

Have the conversation and negotiate equitable balance between "I" and "We"

Balance between “I” and “We” may not always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome. Couples exist on a spectrum between "I" and "We", but the key is to strive for a healthy balance that strengthens your relationship.

Working toward or maintaining a balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome.

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Balancing togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication

Balancing togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication

Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together.

Maybe you and your partner are engaged or newly married and you are happy, in love, and feel more connected than ever – you’re more on the “we” end of the spectrum.

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Balancing “I” and “We” requires communication

Balancing “I” and “We” requires communication

We all know that one couple who does everything together – he tags along to book club, she comes with to watch the game. They share every leisure activity and rarely attend activities independently.

Conversely, you know that other couple that seems to live completely separate lives—different friends, hobbies, and ways of spending their free time. We can recognise this variety and acknowledge there is no perfect way to balance being together and apart from your partner.

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Different personalities can bring significant challenges

Having very different personalities can bring significant challenges

Personality is simply understood as the set of characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. It is one of those things in life that can't change and it tends to stay stable over time. Some might argue you can change aspects of your personality, or your partner’s if you try hard enough. However, this is largely a misconception. What you can do is begin to understand your own personality as well as your partner’s.

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