Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In-Laws, Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to discussing issues that arise in these areas will ensure our relationship is sustained for the long term.
All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich marriage, ensuring a couples marriage is sustained and endures.
This series of blog posts explores each of the five big areas for conflict in relationships emphasising that by taking intentional steps to discuss and resolve these issues, they will have a lasting effect.
1. Finances: As a couple, many may have separate finances, savings, assets, debts, credit cards etc and at some point will need to either talk about their individual situation or their combined financial position.
- Understanding what each individual drivers are with regards to Money: Discuss each partners orientation to understand the pitfalls and to capitalise on each other's strengths. Are they concerned about money as proving status, security, enjoyment or control? Compare with their partner.
- Setting financial goals: What are each individual's short and long-term goals and how much money is required to achieve those goals. Set down plans to how much each will spend and save. Determine who is best placed to manage the finances and communicate regularly with each other on how they are tracking.
- Developing a budget to understand their incoming and outgoings is fundamental. Listing and controlling expenditure can be very empowering and required where access to credit is easily obtained. Whilst understanding how much is spent compared to how much is earnt is key, realising the link with spend or saving habits is also required.
- Gambling and other spend related issues may require counseling or assistance from a financial advisor. Encourage couples to seek it should they feel that their finances are out of control.
Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.
PREPARE/ENRICH has several resources to help you unpack and mine the assessment results. For more details on this exercise, refer to the PREPARE/ENRICH Discussion Guide for Couples.
Do you need help or assistance with using PREPARE/ENRICH or working with couples online, call us any time: (02) 9520 4049 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.