This year, my wife and I have set goals for ourselves individually, as a couple, family goals and work goals.
Sure, we cover all the obvious areas such as finances, career, sex, time together, time with friends and family, but what we always find is that our couple goals are what makes up most of the discussion.
To drive the discussion we started with the following broad questions:
- How can we gain a greater awareness of our relationship strength and growth areas?
- What do we need to do about the areas we need to work on?
- How do we gage success and how often do we check-in?
- One achieved, how should we celebrate; and importantly
- How do we ensure and open and constant communication!
When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee the target goal. Whether you work through these in a single session or over a few weeks, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.
Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few goals and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present during the time you are discussing progress to remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.
Review: When you create your goals, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience.
- Increase relationship satisfaction?
- Provide greater understanding?
- Enable greater support of each other?
- Enrich our relationship?
Reflect on the goals you’ve set for your relationship and consider how you each will contribute. Revisit your list of desired goals within a week after setting them, then continually assess where progress was made and consider articulating relationship (and family) outcomes to continue the momentum.
Start today and make 2018 a great year for your relationship.
Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017
#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.