"Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, and the sum of blessings." - Carl Sandburg
Often times finances are an area of concern and/or stress for couples. In addition they may be an area of stress for Facilitators! How do I, as a Facilitator, help couples have meaningful skill-building dialogue around money? PREPARE/ENRICH has several resources to help you unpack and mine the assessment results around money.
1. Use these questions to explore spending habits and values with regards to finances:
I am concerned that my partner is more of a spender than I am.
- What are your spending habits now?
- What were the spending habits of your family?
- How do both of you believe money should be spent? Do you agree or disagree?
- What factors influence how you spend money?
- What will happen 15 or 20 years down the road if there is no change in your spending habits
We haven't decided how to handle our finances yet.
- Who will make the decision in regards to how you handle your finances?
- How will you set up your joint account(s)?
- How do you plan to spend, save, and/or give away a portion of your income?
- How can you work toward a financial plan?
I have some concerns about whether our income will be sufficient.
- Have each of you shared the details of your expected income and expenditures after you marry?
- What are your greatest concerns about your future income?
- Do you plan to make any adjustments to your lifestyle after marriage?
My partner tries to control the money we have.
- Is this a good or bad thing for you? Why?
- What do you believe may motivate your partner's behavior?
- How may the way you each orient yourselves around money influence this issue of control?
2. Exercises from the Workbook for Couples:
- Uncover similarities and differences around the meaning of money
- Identify financial priorities and align them with habits
- Develop a sense of teamwork around money
3. Discussion Guide with questions to ask or assign the couple to talk about on their own. This is a new resource geared for couples to use on their own. Money is one of fourteen discussion topics. Other topics include:
4. We are constantly thinking about resources we can provide to assise in your wirk with couples. Have your couples check out some articles we have written about finances on our blog so they can stay connected!
More often than not, one or both partners are reticent about sharing their financial resources. This can provide a catalyst for discussing the meaning of the ‘giving’ of one to the other (as usually expressed in the marriage vows) and a ‘shared married life’. Couples may find it difficult to reconcile independence, (frequently expressed as a control of money) with the mutuality and compromise that are characteristic of marital harmony.
PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships