Remarrying couples: Children and career choices and examining the assumptions couples often make about this transition

Encouraging remarrying couples to discuss their expectations with regards to children and their career, what happens now, how that might change and more importantly how the couple and their children might feel about those changes is critical.

Lookout for divergent views between the couple and understand their experience with similar issues in their previous relationship. Whatever the dynamic, it is a great opportunity to raise the issues and to examine the assumptions they often make about this transition.

Exploring relationship roles and a remarrying couple’s expectations about how decision making and responsibilities is a good starting point. What will be shared is key, and understanding each others preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in their relationship is vital.

Work through the following questions related to career and children:

Equalitarian:  A career can be equally important to both partners.

  • Can you share why having a career is important to you?
  • Do you see your partner’s career being more important than yours and if so why?
  • How will you balance your career(s) with your family life?

    Traditional: I am concerned about the balance of home and career and the sharing of the household tasks.

    • Have you shared this concern with your partner?
    • Why do you feel that you are doing/will do more than your share of the tasks?
    • What do you feel is a fair share of the household tasks?
    • What can both of you do now to resolve this issue?
    • How will our children contribute?

    Equalitarian: The wellbeing of our children is important and sharing those responsibilities is important.

    • How did the household function in your home growing up?
    • How do you share parenting decisions today?
    • Would you be willing to allow your partner to discipline your children?
    • How would your children feel about that?

      Equalitarian: How important is it to have children together.

      • How many children does each partner want?
      • Is having children together important?
      • How will this impact in our career(s)?

      In summary, the statements in PREPARE/ENRICH cover most of the key areas including, seeking a difference of opinion about career options and children, and potentially the timing of having children.

      There is an assumption that couples will succeed at becoming parents and a positive focus on couple strengths is encouraged. Participant responses always make for an interesting session.

      Getting Started:

      For Parents:

      • To get started with the Parenting Version of PREPARE/ENRICH, you will need to locate a qualified facilitator of relationship and parental education. PREPARE/ENRICH Certified facilitators can be located in your area by contacting PREPARE/ENRICH or by using the search facility on the website: For Couples

      For Facilitators:

      • To get started with the Parenting Version of PREPARE/ENRICH, you will need to become PREPARE/ENRICH Certified by attending a Workshop.
      • Once trained, Contact Us to activate the Parenting Version in your facilitator account.
      • The cost to activate the Parenting Version is $40

      The PREPARE/ENRICH Parenting Version is Now Available: Register here >

      PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

      For more information on the Parenting Version or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

      Recent Posts


      See all