Stress either begins or ends up in the relationship

In today’s fast paced society, it is impossible to avoid stress in our lives. A recent poll of 1,000 U.S. adults found that 47% of respondents feel more stress today than they did 6 months ago. The number one source of stress cited in the poll was “personal finance concerns” (Booth Research, 2008).

Stressors are external events which cause an emotional or physical reaction. The impact of the event depends on whether one views the event as positive or negative. When stress levels are high or chronic, it is common for physical symptoms (headaches, backaches), psychological symptoms (anxiety, anger) and relational issues (conflict, disconnection) to emerge.

There are 2 basic ways to cope with stress:

  1. Eliminate the stressor. Some stressors represent things that are controllable (working too many hours). In some cases, it is possible to make choices that actually eliminate the stressor (change jobs).
  2. Change one’s reaction to stress. When a stressor cannot be eliminated, it is important to look at how one reacts or copes in response to the stressor. Learning and using healthy coping mechanisms can help individuals respond to stress in healthier ways.

Stress and Couples
A recent study of 82 couples demonstrates how high stress levels can negatively impact marriages (Neff & Karney, 2009).

The greater the stress levels, the more strongly partners react to the normal ups and downs of life. In other words, when stress levels are high, we experience perceived stress more intensely.

The study also suggests high stress levels make it more difficult to effectively use one’s positive relationship skills such as communication and conflict resolution abilities.

Finally, couples are more likely to evaluate their relationship negatively when they are experiencing prolonged exposure to stress. High stress negatively colors a couple’s perceptions of their marriage.

Neff, L.A., and Karney, B.R., (2009). Stress and reactivity to daily relationship experiences: How
stress hinders adaptive processes in marriage. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97 (3), 435-450.

Tune in next week for part 2.

If you have any questions regarding Stress or you simply need assistance setting up your couple, please call us on (02) 9520 4049.

At PREPARE/ENRICH Australia we are committed to providing quality resources for marriage preparation and relationship enrichment. Any questions, please contact us.

Strengthening Relationships Since 1979.

Contact Details:
PO Box 448
Sutherland, NSW 1499
ABN: 65 162 790 687
P: (02) 9520 4049



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