Expectations about love and marriage have a powerful impact on relationships. To a large degree, you will be disappointed or happy in life based on how well what is happening matches up with what you think should be happening. All married couples start out hoping for and believing they will experience the very best. Problems arise when these hopes and beliefs are not based on reality.
The following statements are common fantasies couples have about marriage. Use these with your couple. Ask them to read them and select the ones they believe are true and to take turns sharing and discussing these with each other.
1. My partner will meet all my needs for companionship.
2. Time will resolve our problems.
3. If I have to ask, it is not as meaningful.
4. We should live ‘happily ever after’ with no major problems.
5. Keeping secrets about my past or present is acceptable if it would only cause pain for my partner.
6. Less romance means we have less love for one another.
7. Our relationship will remain the same.
8. My partner’s interest in sex will be the same as mine.
9. Our relationship will be better when we have a baby.
10. We will do things just like my family did.
11. Nothing could cause us to question our love for one another.
12. I believe I know everything there is to know about my partner.
13. Love is all you need for a great marriage.
14. It is better to keep silent about something bothering me than to cause unnecessary problems in our relationship.
1. Which of these questions have you been tempted to believe?
2. If you agree with these statements, how might they set you up for being disappointed later on?
3. How does believing or living out these statements keep you from fully loving and/or honouring yourself and your partner?
If you have any questions regarding work with couples and marriage expectations or you simply need assistance setting up your couple, please call us on (02) 9520 4049.
At PREPARE/ENRICH Australia we are committed to providing quality resources for marriage preparation and relationship enrichment. Any questions, please contact us.
Strengthening Relationships Since 1979.
PO Box 448
Sutherland, NSW 1499
ABN: 65 162 790 687
P: (02) 9520 4049