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Encouraging Intimacy
It has long been proposed that self-disclosure and empathic responding
form the basis of good quality intimate relationships. A study by
Alexandra Mitchell and her colleagues (2008) examined 102 couples who completed
intimacy measures following videotaped discussions about relationship problems
and crises occurring both within and outside the relationship. They reported
that
men's own disclosure and empathic responding predicted their feelings
of intimacy, whereas women's intimacy was predicted by their partner's
disclosure and empathic responding. Self-disclosure and empathic responding
appear to be important behavioral determinants of intimate feelings, but
the manner in which they influence intimacy differs according to gender.
This suggests that aspects of empathic responding may influence intimacy
in men and women differently. The authors summarized these differences
as follows:
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Men's caring predicted their own intimacy, whereas their understanding
and validation did not. Men may feel more effective in responding to their
partner's vulnerability and, therefore, closer to their partner when they
express affectionate concern for their partner rather than just understanding
and acceptance of their partner's disclosure.
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Women felt more intimate when their partners exhibited understanding, validation,
and caring.
One practical implication of this finding is that couples whose relationship
lacks intimacy may benefit from being encouraged to engage in constructive
emotional disclosure discussions more frequently, particularly as a means
of regaining closeness after relationship damage has occurred. Men will
feel a greater sense of intimacy from responding to their partner and expressing
caring towards their partner, and their partners will feel a greater sense
of intimacy because of this.
Reference:
Mitchell, Alexandra E, Castellani, Angela M, Herrington, Rachael L,
Joseph, Jana I, Doss, Brian D, Snyder, Douglas K (2008). Predictors of
intimacy in couples' discussions of relationship injuries: An observational
study. Journal of Family Psychology, 22, 21-29.
Past Hints Last Month : Does Parental
Divorce Hinder Marrying Couples?
News Update:
The December 2007 issue of the Newsletter, the Prepare Diary,was
posted on the Administrators' web site in mid-December. See the link
on the Adminstators' hompage.
PROCESSING FEE NOW $44.00
This is the first increase in the base cost of processing since 1999.
Our aim is to maintain the new processing charge for a lengthy period of
time (as we have done before). We always aimed to make the processing cost
comparable to that of a modest meal for a couple we feel sure that $44
(for a couple) is still well and truly within those limits.
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