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Past experience of relationship and current concerns
Many studies have explored the way in which there can be a gradual transfer
of the form of attachment to parents and other significant relationships
in the past, to future attachment towards a partner in a close relationship.
Family experience will shape attachment in relationships. Some individuals
may become avoidant and very unconcerned and non-anxious about future relationships.
Others may become fearful and anxious, or insecure, about future relationships.
Judith Feeney, a researcher with the University of Queensland, recently
conducted a study in which questionnaires assessing age, relationship length,
involvement, relationship closeness, conflict, attachment dimensions (anxiety
and avoidance), and attachment figures were completed by 107 young adults.
The study was designed to “…to explore the role of individual and relationship
variables in the transfer process.” (Journal of Family Studies,
2004, 10, 220-38).
Two important findings were:
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Weak attachment to a partner was associated with the tendency to be avoidant
in relationships and to be low in anxiety about relationships.
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Individuals high in anxiety about relationships tended to report higher
levels of desired than actual attachment.
The implication is that when we are working with premarital couples we
should be alert to two possibilities associated with Feeney’s findings:
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Some individuals may be under pressure to be in a close relationship, not
due to their own motivation, but due to social pressure to conform.
They are struggling to form a close and intimate relationship because they
have tended to be avoidant and unconcerned about relationships in the past.
The issue of motivation, and whether there is new set of possibilities
in this new situation, can helpfully be explored with couples where one
partner is in this position.
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Other individuals may be very anxious and almost obsessive about their
relationship and have needs for closeness that they will find very hard
to satisfy. Helping couples to explore what is a reasonable and appropriately
reassuring level of closeness will be an important strategy.
Past Hints Last Month : Working
With The Family and Friends Category
News Update:
END-OF-YEAR CLOSING
Please note that the last processing day will be Wednesday 14th December
2005 and the office will re-open on January 3rd 2006.
PROCESSING FEE TO INCREASE ON FEBRUARY 1st 2006
This is an advance notice to let you know that we will be reluctantly
increasing the cost of processing to $44 (including GST) from February
1st next year. This will be the first increase in the base cost of processing
since 1999. The $35 processing charge was set then and the GST added
to this in June 2000, taking the GST inclusive charge to $38.50. Between
June 1999 and June 2005, our net costs have increased by almost 15% due
to constant increases in the expenses associated largely with wages, printing
and postage. Our aim is to maintain the new processing charge for a lengthy
period of time (as we have done before). We always aimed to make the processing
cost comparable to that of a modest meal for a couple – we feel sure that
$44 (for a couple) is still well and truly within those limits.
The June 2005 issue of the Newsletter, the Prepare Diary, is
available on this web site: To read, click on: June
2005 Diary The next newsletter will be posted in
mid-December.
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