A recent US study (Blaine Fowers and his colleagues: Positive Illusions About Marriage Among Married and Single Individuals, Journal of Family Psychology, 2001,15, pp 95–109) reported that single participants, not currently in a relationship, realistically indicated that they were extremely likely to marry in the future and were realistic about their prospects for marriage. 

However, they were very unrealistic about the future likelihood of their marriages ending in divorce.  Whether or not they were being realistic was based on a comparison of their own estimates of the probability of divorce with actual US statistical estimates about marriage and divorce.  They also tended to provide significantly lower estimates of their own chances of divorce than they did for others' likelihood of divorce.  

Fowers states that “…the vast majority of the participants thought that they would have above-average marriages. Clearly, it is not possible for nearly every marriage to be better-than-average. Only 4% of the sample thought that they were likely to have a below average marriage.” According to the authors, the results of this study indicate that individuals who are not involved in a committed relationship do engage in positive illusions about a future marriage. This is a form of optimism bias in which one expects bad things to be more likely to happen to others rather than to one’s self.

Fowers and his colleagues comment: “The existence of positive illusions about a future marriage suggests that this bias is not dependent on satisfaction with a particular partner or relationship nor are positive illusions dependent on the length of a relationship. These results indicate that positive illusions about marriage are independent of and predate satisfaction with any particular relationship. This suggests that positive illusions about marriage are a broad social phenomenon in which both the married and unmarried engage.”

An implication of this study is that, as relationship educators or counselors, we cannot afford to neglect such positive illusions.  We do not want to destroy them and replace them with negative illusions, but we do need to help couples to acquire a realistic or reality-based sense of their relationship – both strengths and areas for growth. Risks are greater than they think.

Past Hints 

News Update:  

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If you have not already read it, the December 2003 issue of the Newsletter, the Prepare Diary, is available on this web site.  Access is via this link:  Newsletter - December 2003 
The next newsletter will be posted on the web site in June 2004. 

Brief articles are included on marriage enrichment programs, understanding positive and negative items, as well as an update on Prepare-CC. 

Skills development training seminars are listed at: Skills Development Opportunities 

The cost of processing has not been increased and remains at $38.50 (including GST).