Hint of the Month and News Update - August, 2003
 
Should taking PREPARE be mandatory?
    In principle, it would be very pleasing to see all premarital couples being encouraged to take PREPARE or to be involved in some other form of premarital education program.  In general, one would expect that most couples would gain very real benefits from the experience, whether they become stronger for having identified their strengths and their growth areas or having made a mature and sensible decision not to marry.  

    However, in practice, it may be argued that activities that are good for people may not always be well received when they are made mandatory.  The reason for this is that such a process may be perceived as an authoritarian and coercive process of compulsion.  It might also be perceived as being a judgmental form of assessment, a mandatory examination, that couples must pass before they can be married.

    Of course, it is up to an individual Administrator as to whether they make PREPARE mandatory or not.  Whatever you do, when offering PREPARE to a couple the important thing is not to alienate them or to give them the impression that PREPARE is a test or examination.  

    Be prepared to explain exactly what the full process of taking PREPARE involves and how it is meant to work.  Be prepared to share your own reasons for offering PREPARE – why do you see it as a valuable tool and how has it helped other couples you have worked with?

    Carefully explain the process to couples so that they will not be defensive or feel threatened.  Welcome their questions and clarify any uncertainties that they might have.  Help them to become aware of, and excited about, what PREPARE can achieve for them.

    It is better to have an informed and committed couple, even if it takes some time and effort to explain the process in detail, than to have a reluctant and compliant couple who have misgivings and concerns that have not been addressed.  As a last resort, it is also possible to encourage the couple to feel free to not answer certain questions if there is a small number of specific questions that they regard as intrusive.
     

News Update:  
    If you have not already read it, the June 2003 issue of the Newsletter, the Prepare Diary, is available on this web site.  Access is via the link on the Administrators' home page. 
    Brief articles are included on accreditation policy, relationship educator skills and abilities, 
    as well as an update on Prepare-CC. 

    Prepare-CC (for cohabiting couples intending to marry) packs may now be ordered. 

    Processing  for the old (pre-version 2000) versions of the Prepare-Enrich inventories is no longer available.  If you have not yet updated your accreditation to Version 2000 please see the list of Training Days and update as soon as possible.