What are the key strengths for married couples?  If we know them we can look to see if they are already present in some form in premarital couples.  We can then encourage these couples to be careful to maintain them. In a study of married couples conducted by the Prepare-Enrich group in the USA, some important couple strengths were identified by using the ENRICH inventory. The research sample was 21,501 married couples from fifty states who took ENRICH mainly during 1999. Within this sample, two groups of couples were closely examined: 5,153 couples where both partners were very happily married and 5,127 couples where both partners were not happily married. 

Top Ten Strengths of Happy Couples

It was possible to predict with 93% accuracy whether a specific couple was happy or unhappy using these top ten items from ENRICH. This list rank orders the best ENRICH items that discriminate between happy and unhappy couples. 

1. I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other. 
2. We are creative in how we handle our differences. 
3. We feel very close to each other. 
4. My partner is seldom too controlling. 
5. When discussing problems, my partner understands my opinions and ideas. 
6. I am completely satisfied with the amount of affection from my partner. 
7. We have a good balance of leisure time spent together and separately. 
8. My partner’s friends or family rarely interfere with our relationship. 
9. We agree on how to spend money. 
10. I am satisfied with how we express spiritual values and beliefs. 

Thus, the ten best ENRICH categories that can predict strong marriages are in rank order: communication, couple flexibility, couple closeness, personality issues, conflict resolution, sexual relationship, leisure activities, family and friends, financial management and spiritual beliefs. 

The Big Five

Why is it that some couples seem so happy, regardless of life situations, transitions, or circumstances they may encounter? Are they simply well matched individuals? Are they doing something different from less happy couples? What is their secret?  The five strongest predictors of couple happiness that emerged were:

Communication was the area found to be most predictive of happily married couples and the issue was whether partners agree that they are satisfied with how they talk to each other. Almost all happily married couples (90%) agree with this statement, compared to only 15% of unhappily married couples.

Couple flexibility was the second most important category distinguishing happy and unhappy couples. Seventy-eight percent of happily married couples agree that they were creative in how they handle differences, whereas about half (15%) of unhappy couples agree on this item.

Couple closeness was the third most important category. Happy couples were in much higher agreement about feeling very close to each other (happy couples 98%; unhappy couples 27%).

Personality compatibility was also an important characteristic of happy couples. Happy couples have much more agreement on this item than unhappy couples do (happy 78%; unhappy 20%).

Conflict resolution is an important skill used by happily married couples. They are much more likely to agree to feeling understood when discussing problems than unhappily married couples (happy 87%; unhappy 19%).
 

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